MM on Monster Magic....

Though my book, the Elephant Orphanage, has yet to see the light of day, the soon to be masterpiece already has a front cover. This image was created by my old friend Monster and is based on photos from the real life Elephant Orphanage taken on a fact finding trip to Sri Lanka with Muxloe a couple of years ago. (no sign of the photos of the women washing their family's clothes down river from where a whole herd of elephants was bathing and crapping!!!) Not only is it, in my humble opinion, a magic peice of art to grace the novel it also acts as inspiration and motivation for me to finish a first draft once and for all. Cheers Monster.

MM on nowhere special.......

Today I'm doing some temp work....as I have been for the last couple of months. Consequently the Elephant Orphanage master-piece is somewhat on the back burner as reality bites and it turns out the life of a penniless would-be author is not as romantic in reality as the notion might suggest. Temping is a drag. In some ways its not too bad; it gets me out of bed in the mornings, stopped me going stir crazy, and my temporary colleagues are good fun, but on the whole its a drag. Especially on a day like today when the rain is falling and clock ticking oh so slowly. I'd rather be anywhere else than here today. Literally anywhere. All of which reminds me of one of my favourite endings to a film. Its the final scene of Blazing Saddles when the Waco Kid and Jim's escapades are over, their work is done and they're wondering what to do next.

Waco Kid - where you heading cowboy?
Jim - nowhere special.
Waco Kid - (pause)...nowhere special....(wistful sigh)....I always wanted to go there!

I know what he means. Whats your favourite ending to a film?

MM on momentus meetings.......

If you'd undertaken a family fortunes style survey of 100 British people back in 1988 'name something you'd never expect to see in 2007' then I suspect that, along with the return of the mullet and the slogan t-shirt, high on the list of answers for Les Dennis to reveal would be "a photo of the Rev Ian Paisley sharing a 'someone's just farted' gag with Martin McGuinness". Which all goes to show that no matter how preposterous it might seem sometimes anything is possible!

MM on Madrid.......

After the scandalous debacle of the 'dirty protest' incident I decided that it was time to bury the hatchet with my long time friend and comrade Sound Theory. A friendship born in the revolutionary hot-bed of mid 90's Hampshire, burgeoning on the beaches of Mexico and Brazil and cemented marauding down the right side of south London's football pitches was all too much to throw away on the back of some silly scatological shenanigans! It was with some trepidation (necessitating valium to calm the nerves) that I arrived in Madrid. Of course my apprehension was misplaced as Sound Theory proved himself to be the bigger man by making the first move in this new age of detente, by immediately offering up the local peace pipe on my arrival. Many know that the way to a man's heart is through his stomach. Sound Theory knows that the way to Muxloe's heart is via his favourite spanish nibble - the empanada. Accordingly friendship was re-affirmed with the offer of a slice of tuna empanada pie adorned with a heart. The cold war is over.

Sadly Madrid proved to be a miserable rather than magical experience. The sun failed to shine, the tapas was bland, the beer was flat, the madrid girls were mingers and I was laughed at for my red face. Of course all of this is complete lies and the opposite can be understood to be true - except that is for my being laughed at for having a red face,(damn that spanish sun and my english skin) that much is true!

Madrid was actually magnificent. Highlights in no particular order included; an average of an empanada a day, 'people watching' in the Retiro park, the opportunity to spend more time and get to know the enchanting Mrs Sound Theory, an authentic 'yorkshire pizza' at an abbey themed Irish bar, a party hosted by a man called Bruno who looked like he could feature in a 70's cartoon like Marmaduke or Pigeon Street, gaining an insight into and developing an affinity for the ever expanding 'weltanschauen' (german - world/life view) of Sound Theory, watching a feast of footballing tricks by a team of South American wonder kids, enjoying a siesta whilst the Polish cleaning lady ironed ST's shirts and a quiet hour's contemplation in the courtyard of the wonderful Reina Sofia gallery. Muy bien!

My only regrets were the second valium and that my trip didn't last longer.

MM on miners.....

This week marks the 21st anniversary of the explosion at the Chernobyl nuclear power plant. Do you remember it? I do. I remember being annoyed that we were banned from playing on the grass or in the sandpit. It was also annoying that fresh milk was considered contaminated so we had to have toast for breakfast instead of our usual cereal. And for a 9 year old boy nothing was more annoying than that when it rained we had to stay in doors. Some of the people of Ukraine with their bereavements, abandoned homes, cancerous bodies and deformed babies may remember it for different reasons........ and our governement continue to insist nuclear fuel is vital to our future. I'd say renewable sources are more vital!

This is an extract from a poem by Mario Petrucci from his collection 'Heavy Water' which deals with the miners, firemen and soldiers who were ordered into Chernobyl to clear up the mess. They were not told of the disastrous consequences these acts of heroism would have for their futures.

Miners (Chernobyl 1986)
We came out fainting
like girls. Our black wouldn't wash.
We knew this was no ordinary ore.
That each grain we dug was worth a life......
..........And now there are those
who will not stand near us. To them
I say - How will you bury us? And so
we are all agreed. All we brothers -
from Kiev. Moscow. Dnepropetrovsk.
We vow to bury one another. This
is impossible they tell us. It cannot
be done. It can. We are miners.
We know how to dig.